Thursday, February 21, 2013

More Great News!

I have more great news!

You're probably sick of seeing people who disagree with you here on the internet.

Well, guess what?  Now, thanks to anti-bullying measures, you can do something about it!

All you have to do is label the person who you're opposed to as either hateful or a bully.  Then, you can go rally up a bunch of people who hate that person and go try to intimidate them off the internet through threats and name calling!

I know, you were worried that with anti-bullying sentiment, that kind of stuff would be frowned upon.  But don't worry!  It's actually totally okay, as long as you're doing it in the name of anti-bullying sentiment.

Which is a big relief for everybody.

Saturday, February 09, 2013

Well, It's Been A Long Time Coming . . .

Well, I know this has been a long wait, but I have good news!

As of 3:40 pm this afternoon, we officially reached the point where, as a society, it is completely acceptable to completely extrapolate every single attribute of a person based solely on one viewpoint we may have heard that they have.

Prior to 3:40 pm this afternoon, there was one hold out--an old guy who still thought that people are kind of complicated, and that, just because you know one opinion a person holds doesn't even mean you really know why they hold that opinion, let alone what other opinions they might hold--but he died of a heart attack suffered trying to shovel his own driveway out from the snow. We are now officially in the clear.

So get to labeling people, jumping to conclusions, painting swaths of people with one brush, and neatly categorizing people as "good" and "bad."  There's nobody left to have a problem with it!

And if they do, they're just intolerant spam-for-brains who hate baby dolphins.