Who Wants To Be A Superhero: Okay, I'll admit to watching Stan Lee's contribution to the reality show world.

I've got to admit to having mixed feelings about the show.

Now I realize that absolutely nobody in the world is watching it except me and my wife and a couple of people who might be related to the contestants, so I can't talk about this the way I could talk about, say, 24, which everybody watches every week (don't you?).

There have been some moments of genuine heroism on the show--the best was when Monkey Woman (yes, Monkey Woman) fought to reach a goal for nearly twenty minutes with two big guard dogs that probably weighed more than she did dragging her down.

But for the most part, the show is kind of a joke. Really tongue in cheek, and even silly at times. You can't tell whether they want us to take any of it seriously or not.

And basically, that's what the final three came down to. One guy who was taking it super-seriously, and a couple of people who weren't.

The guy who's taking it seriously is Feedback. This is a guy who grew up on Marvel comic books, and considers Stan a surrogate father--his real Dad killed himself when he was young. Like I said, serious.

And then there are the other two--Major Victory, a Superman parody who used to be a stripper and spends all his time joking and prancing around like a goof, and Fat Momma, a heavy-set woman who, quite frankly, I think is as shocked as anybody else that she's made it this far (last week she locked herself in a closet until a producer would come let her tell him she shouldn't really be on the show any more. The other two competitors talked her out of quitting, but quite frankly, she was right).

So this week, who do they boot off? Major Victory. Why? Because he wasn't setting the tone Stan was looking for. Never mind that Major Victory basically set the tone for this show. So much so that he's the one whose image is on most of the advertising, and on the season one DVD. His tone might have been right for this show, but not for Stan's show.

Look, quite frankly, I agree with the decision. I'm rooting for Feedback--he's kind of the Everynerd of the show, and more of the kind of competitor I was hoping the show would be full of.

But to make the decision while Fat Momma was still around--that's just silly. Major Victory versus Feedback would have made the perfect finale, and would have been a whole lot of fun. And I think everyone, including the producers, knew that. Stan knew it. It was a no brainer.

So why didn't they do it?

Major Victory has an estranged daughter. And all along, he's said he's doing this for her, wanting to become a hero in her eyes.

See, next week, the ending is going to be about the winner. And Stan and the other producers knew they didn't want Major Victory to win. But they love the guy, and wanted to give him a send-off they wouldn't have time for next week. So they bumped the guy, even though it made no sense, just so they could give him a "moment" with his daughter.

In their mind, it works out perfect. Major Victory gets a grand send-off, next week Feedback wins, and everybody, including the loser, Fat Momma, is delighted. It's like they moved the one woman who knew she had no business there into the finals so no one, not even the loser, would "taint" the victory of the winner.

This is how reality TV works, folks. It's not a competition. It's not a game. It's a scripted, produced, show.

Podcast People I've recently taken to downloading podcasts of various podcasts off the internet to play on the way to work instead of the Radio.

Look, I'm telling you--forget whatever chipper pair of Morning DJs you listen to in the morning because you saw their airbrushed mugs splattered across a billboard somewheres, that pair of lightweights you find yourself praying will just shut up and play another Jessica Simpson song.

Go find yourself some good podcasts. There's all kinds of stuff all over the place for whatever you're interested in. And I mean what you're interested in specifically. You don't have to wade through some "Sci-fi" podcast wading through some discussion of whatever B horror movie SciFi Channel showed last night--you can get a podcast just for, say, Serenity. If your thing is one-handed fire-juggling on waterskis, you can probably find a podcast for it.

What? You actually like your radio? Well, guess what. Chances are, they also do a podcast. One that doesn't include the commercials. I've actually downloaded a two hour show (Jillian Michaels on KFI AM 640) that clocked in at one hour. It's like having Tivo for the radio.

Anybody still listening to radio the old fashioned way is a Troglodyte.

Granted, I still don't have a Tivo, and still watch TV the old fashioned way, but I'm not doing the stupid radio any more.

Maybe I'm like Archaeopteryx.

I Won!: I just won a stack of replica Firefly 'verse money from the fine folks (or rather, the one heck of a guy) over at Serenity Stuff. Please check him out to appease that Firefly jones--if it's Firefly, and it's for sale, that's where you'll hear about it.

Grateful: You know what I’ve decided?

I’m grateful to be alive when I am.

I’m a nostalgic type. I like to fantasize about the periods I’ve missed and wonder how it might have been to live in an era not plagued by some of the things we currently have to deal with.

But I’m a realist. I know that every era was plagued by something.

And I got reminded of that this memorial day. As I was deep-frying the hot wings and my brother was grilling up carne asada, he made the passing comment, “You know that today we’re going to eat like kings? Better, actually.”

I know enough history to know he’s right. To past eras where peppercorns were traded as currency, the Frank’s Red Hot Sauce I used on the wings or the cumin-based marinade we used on the meat would have been unheard of.

Fact is, if we dined with ancient kings, we’d probably find the food bland. And probably dry--they didn’t have a handy food thermometer, like I’ve got, that allows me to pull that meat out of the oven the moment it hits the right temperature, keeping it from cooking (and losing moisture) one second longer than it needs to.

Came across a similar quote to my brother’s a couple of days later in an old issue of Analog. Something about how the average schoolkid today knows and understands truths the ancient Greeks would gave given their right triangles for.

Yeah, it’s true that the folks who have their heart set on messing things up for the rest of us are now able to do that in ways we’ve never dreamed of before.

But I’ve got to tell ya, for right now, I’m grateful for what I’ve got.

Don't You Hate: . . . when the kids get into your stuff?

Why We Need The Internet: Optical illusions at another level.

Out Of The Grease: Lots of people are watching Dunkin' Donuts right now with interest, including me.

See, the company wasn't doin' so hot. They were known for one product (three guesses what it was) which wasn't all that popular during the heat of the low-carb craze. So the company started to re-think its strategy. One of the first things they realized was that they weren't that different, in positioning and products, from one of the most popular companies in America, one that was making a ton of money, one that's on practically every corner. Yup, you guessed it.

Exxon-Mobil.

But since they didn't have big enough parking lots to put in gas pumps, they looked at another big company that was even closer to their model--Starbucks.

So the company ended up with this challenge: To completely recreate themselves in the public mind. To take their already established brand, but reinvent the way people perceived it.

Obviously, they couldn't just crib Starbucks. They had to figure out what things made them appeal to a slightly different market than the Starbucks crowd.

See, one of the key things about marketing that a lot of people don't realize is that nobody markets to everybody. Just because you make toothpaste doesn't mean you market to everybody with teeth. Anybody here going to let your ten-year-old daughter brush her teeth with Close-Up?

Heck, no. Because Close-Up is make-out toothpaste. You're going to be a good parent and get your kid to brush with Crest, because Crest is a family toothpaste ("Look, Ma! No cavities!").

So Dunkin's goal is to be just enough off from what Starbucks is to capture a slightly different market, those for whom Starbucks isn't quite a perfect fit.

I've been watching this with interest. Could the company pull itself up by its bootstraps, shifting the perceptions of America? Or would it be a shark jumpin' new Coke kind of moment?

Imagine my surprise when they enlisted the help of my favorite band. Yup. Those twin quasars of Rock and Songs That Get Stuck In Your Head are doing the new Dunkin' Donunts spots.

You can see all the spots on the marketing company's blog.

Anybody got any favorites?

Doin' Things is probably the best ad, but you gotta smile at the Pleather.

Free Cone Day: . . . is coming.

Hugo And Nebula Awards: Here are this year's Hugo and Nebula award nominees, with links to where you can read the shorter works online.