Yeah, I know we're talking about the lack of women on the Comedy Central 100 funniest stand ups of all time, but I'm actually protesting the lack of John Mendoza. Here's some good lines.

I went skydiving the other day with a blind man. You ever hear a German Shepherd scream at thirty thousand feet?

Fear is being stuck in traffic after you just had 2 cups of coffee and a bran muffin.

If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you see okay?

I was a shepherd once ... but I got fired because I always fell asleep during inventory.

Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?